We have had just 10 episodes so far in the Military Veteran Dad podcast and each episode I have seen a common theme. That when dads come home we don’t always recognize we need to meet our families where they are.
It can be very easy for us to walk into the family and think since that we are home its time for us to take back control.
Couldn’t be further from the truth. While you were gone your family learned to live without you. They created systems to deal with things that didn’t involve you.
They learned how to emotionally come together and solve problems without you.
On the road to coming home, you need to meet your family where they are.
We as Military Veteran Dads need to approach the problem with a curiosity that we have never done before.
We need to approach every member of the family with a deep sense of curiosity to what life was like when you were gone. Understand the highs and the lows.
If you have little kids that means entering their world and connecting with them while playing.
If you have teenagers, that means to understand what is going on in there world.
You see when we approach coming home where we have control we create a tension in the family of going in a direction that they don’t want to.
It is more than important, it is critical that we understand the harm trying to gain control of your family when coming home.
Ever have that feeling after coming home that you would better back in the field?
This is the tension from you trying to gain control of your family.
Remember what I stated with, they learned how to live without you.
One of the most powerful tools we have to reconnect with our families is stories. Stories connect people together like very few things can. They can validate feelings and remove feelings of being alone.
This is what your family needs, they need the closure on the emotion of being without you and the only way to do this is to connect and approach them with curiosity.
Don’t try and problem-solve their problems, just listen.
